So I’ve been sitting here all week doing jack shit and watching superhero movies because a) I have nothing better to do with my life and b) I really liked the avengers.  And I’ve realized that my life will never mean that much to anyone.  If I hulked out and destroyed a military team, nobody would tell them not to destroy me.  If I was frozen in ice for seventy years, I wouldn’t be important enough to resuscitate.  I will never have the ability or the assets to build a suit of battle armor. And I’m certainly not a norse god or a master assassin.  Hell, I don’t even have a love interest to make anything worth it.  Twilights a better love story than me.  So I get to sit here, knowing that I’m average, knowing that I’ll never amount to anything, knowing that I’ll probably die alone. And that sucks, that really sucks.  

Switching gears (kind of)

In case you didn’t already know I have a paralyzing fear of abandonment. This makes the end of my first year at college really hard for me.  I know that I’m coming back, I know that I’ll see people again in three months. But that’s why they call it irrational fears. You know there’s no reason to, but you still end up crying in your room at 2:41 in the morning, just wanting to cut it all out.  I can’t sleep, I didn’t eat today, I think that this whole leaving business is really depressing me out.  I hope that I get myself together before total meltdown, but I’m not sure this time. I’m just not sure.

Someone please talk to me. I’m lonely and all I want is a friend.